


Don't be vague. Ask for Aragorn.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-12
Updated: 2003-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-17 07:59:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Original notes:  -In which the author tests the limits of good taste by using all the bad jokes and puns known to man. Any left out were left out because there simply *has* to be a limit to corniness allowed in a fic.<br/>Credit Where Credit Is Due: The Advertising Slogan Generator (www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan) is to blame for some of these.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>Originally posted to Deadjournal. I am unsure if I ever posted it anywhere else.  (Posted here only in the interest of completeness.)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Don't be vague. Ask for Aragorn.

**Author's Note:**

> Original notes: -In which the author tests the limits of good taste by using all the bad jokes and puns known to man. Any left out were left out because there simply *has* to be a limit to corniness allowed in a fic.  
> Credit Where Credit Is Due: The Advertising Slogan Generator (www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan) is to blame for some of these.
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> Originally posted to Deadjournal. I am unsure if I ever posted it anywhere else. (Posted here only in the interest of completeness.)

It was midmorning and the king hadn't come yet, though Boromir was working on that. He had attempted to make it an Aragorn night, which had quickly become an Aragorn morning and was threatening to become an Aragorn afternoon as well. He was beginning to wonder where the Dunadan got the stamina.

"Boromir, stop thinking, and finish sucking."

Boromir grinned around his king's cock. Gotta love Aragorn. Imagine, getting a half hour of Aragorn in just two calories. "Yes, milord. Anything else?"

"Just obey your king. And don't talk with your mouth full."

Boromir swept his tongue over Aragorn's slit quickly, making the king moan. "I think we've broken all rules of protocol in just the past hour. I don't suppose one more can make a difference."

"It does...do that again."

'Liked the moans so much, I bought the man. Didn't realize all this would come with it,' Boromir thought. Though he supposed this was the best Aragorn he could get.

"More, Boromir, please. Don't tease me."

Boromir obliged. Once Aragorn had recovered fully, he graced his Steward with a cheeky grin and pronounced, "Nothing sucks like a Steward."

Boromir raised his eyebrows. "Pardon, my lord, but I somehow remember *you*-" Before he could finish, Aragorn silenced him with a kiss. "Ah, that's nice. That's the Aragorn people go for."

"You mean come for."

"And he says I have a bad mouth..."

"Oh, I'm not complaining. I happen to like your mouth very much. Along with other parts of your body."

"Is that my cue to whine about how you don't really love me, you only want to use me and then throw me away? About how you only want me for dialouge like 'Do me, Aragorn!' and 'Fuck me, harder!'"

"No, that comes later, after I've fucked you through the mattress hard enough so you feel it next year."

"Is that even possible? Next week, I can understand, but a full year?"

"Want to try?"

"I must be insane to love you like I do."

"Not disputing that fact, Boromir."

"Oh, you!" For that, Boromir threw a pillow at the man sucking his nipples.

Aragorn pouted. "But I need my Boromir snack."

"Your Boromir is going to smack you if you keep that up. Bad dialouge is *my* pidgin, not yours. You get to ponce around like an elf and look sexy. I'm the one who has to suffer for art."

"Art?"

"Well, sex. LOWER! Please, Aragorn, lower!"

"There's no one else here, my dear. You don't have to beg for it."

"Oh, like I beg when we have an audience."

"Well, you did during the Quest." Aragorn struck gold. "Ah, this has got to be the best Boromir on middle-earth."

"Silly human. It's not that common a name. Unlike you, who's past fifteen ancestors' names all started with the same first two letters."

Aragorn shrugged, which was quite a feat considering that his shoulders were wedged between Boromir's knees. "Keeps recording simple."

Aragorn tickled a particullarly sensitive spot, and Boromir had to restrain himself from kicking his king in the chest. That, he decided, would be a decidedly amour-less thing to do. "What am I, the other white meat?" He asked, instead.

"Yes."

"Right. Eat me, then, king!"

And Aragorn obliged. He had, after all, made room for des-,er, Boromir.


End file.
